TIME Magazine Shares PSOW Etiquette Tips on Being a Good Neighbor When Challenges Arise Next Door

What can you do when faced with a difficult neighbor? Whether large or small, property disputes, or noise levels, the issue likely feels both hard yet necessary to address with people who live next-door because of the proximity: if you ignore the problem, it could escalate into a larger conflict. But if you don’t address it in a way that is amenable for all parties, you may risk the outcome of something becoming bigger than you intended for it to be.

Exploring this difficult yet relatable topic, TIME Magazine writer Angela Haupt recently posed a series of best practices and etiquette questions to Pamela Eyring, president and owner of PSOW, on the best way to handle these very delicate situations.

In the article, “7 Ways to Handle Your Rude Neighbor,” Pamela addressed the common challenge of driveway access. In answer to the question, “I’ve noticed sometimes cars are blocking my driveway/shared spot, and it makes it hard for us to get in and out. Would it be possible to make sure that space stays clear?”, she shared:

“If your neighbor is driving you up the wall by blocking your driveway or taking your assigned parking spot, catch them at a neutral time—when they’re not rushing out the door to get to work, for example. Explain exactly what’s happening and then politely ask them to stop doing it, which is more effective than issuing a command.”

She also suggested adding: “If you ever need extra space in a pinch, let me know. I’m happy to help if I can.” Showing that you’re flexible helps turn the situation into a partnership while nurturing a neighborly bond.

Before challenges arise between neighbors, especially new residents, taking a strategic approach to preparing first can pay off in a positive way later. Pamela recommends making it a point to meet your neighbors after they have moved in.  Bring them homemade cookies or snack mix to welcome them to the neighborhood.  Tell them where you live and how long you have lived there to start the conversation.  This way, when something goes wrong, they’ll remember your friendliness.

You also have to consider what level of annoyance is worthwhile to even address in the first place. Such as, is it a one and done or is it consistent? The frequency should dictate the level of action.  Maybe it’s a party once a year versus every weekend. Having a keen sense of self-awareness is also key.  What is your annoyance level?  If you confront the person on the subject, could you control your emotions?  You want to have a calm demeanor and use respect as the backbone to the conversation.

Lastly, make an approach plan.  In person is always the respectful “weapon” of choice.  Always try to resolve the issue before calling your local police department.

For general, best practices across all issues, always start friendly, not confrontational - neighbors are long-term relationships. Be sure to use “I” statements to reduce blame. Suggest clear, actionable requests instead of vague complaints. And, offer reciprocity or acknowledgment to build cooperation.

Intrigued on the topic? Read the full article in TIME Magazine, and reach out to us at PSOW with all of your etiquette questions!