How to Center Thanksgiving Talks on Gratitude: NBC Washington Features Pamela Eyring’s Advice on Holiday Etiquette Around the Table This Year
Perhaps your aunt is bringing a new romantic partner of whom the rest of the family may not approve. Or another member has clashing political beliefs that they aren’t shy about sharing with all who may listen. Or maybe you just don’t know how to act politely while dealing with your personal dislike with the food that has been served. This year, like many others, presents a lot of opportunities for missteps if the host and guests at the Thanksgiving meal aren’t centered on maintaining gratitude and peace around this year‘s table.
To consult a leader in the field on easy tips and ways to strategize, NBC News Washington featured PSOW’s own Pamela Eyring, to share insights on strategy and easy tips to get ahead this holiday season by keeping gratitude, conversational direction, and attention to manners at the center of this year‘s gatherings with friends and family.
News anchor Joseph Olmo discussed in-depth the topic of etiquette and conversational best practices to avoid conflict at the dinner table.
Among the tips that Pamela provided included those listed below:
Facing a difficult topic that just won’t get a peaceful conversation back on track?
Pamela recommends:
Change the subject AND change the person is my key strategy – it’s emotional intelligence, preserves relationships and keeps the atmosphere positive. Timing is important -- waiting until there is a lull in the conversation (or they finally take a breath ready to say more), then you carefully change the topic. I’ve used it and it works the best.
Dealing with someone’s personal beliefs on religion or politics that create friction at the table?
Pamela’s tip: You’ll want to acknowledge the topic then pivot. Example: “That is an important issue, and we could discuss it for days. Speaking of challenges, how is your new project progressing?” You can also be bolder by validating and saying “Jim, I have been seeing the news and know of these challenging world events and horrific weather. Let’s talk about topics that are more interesting tonight like your mother’s homemade pumpkin pie!” This works since you’re being clearer that you do not want to talk about these subjects and resetting the conversation with light humor.
According to Pamela, nonverbal communication is key:
Pamela recommends: When changing subjects and individuals, be aware of your non-verbal communication. Smile and nod when you’re listening for the pause (or breath) waiting to change the subject. Change your body position towards the other person when redirecting a question. I also suggest having 2-3 neutral subjects such as food, pets, travel, and entertainment.
Additional “peace around the holiday table” tactics & recommendations:
The holidays are magical, but they can also be emotional minefields. Keep the season merry by treading lightly:
Avoid Polarizing Topics: Politics, social debates, or Aunt Linda’s new boyfriend—leave these off the table, literally and figuratively at this year‘s holiday gathering.
Mind Others’ Feelings During this Season: Not everyone finds the holidays joyful. Be compassionate with those dealing with loss, loneliness, or stress.
Celebrate Indiscriminately: "Happy Holidays" is a friendly way to embrace everyone’s traditions. Remember, kindness and respect never go out of style.
Above all else, focus on gratitude:
Given that the holiday table - whether it’s the US tradition of Thanksgiving or any number of the upcoming December and New Year’s holidays - is about connection, it’s important to keep these tips in mind to focus on the true meaning of get-togethers:
According to Pamela: A Thanksgiving table is a space for gratitude and connection, so practicing active listening, showing genuine interest in others, and keeping the conversation light and welcoming are essential to being a gracious guest. Keep your mindset positive.
The segment aired as a live interview and broadcast on Sunday, November 23, but you can catch the video for quick advice here to help guide you through the best etiquette practice this holiday season.
Wishing a safe, happy, and etiquette filled Thanksgiving feast for all who celebrate!
See clips of the interview on Instagram below (or click this link).