Budgets, dietary restrictions, and uncooperative guests: How to navigate 8 sticky situations this holiday season

The holiday season always brings gatherings galore. From gifting to gabbing, you are likely to find yourself in a social situation or two that leaves you scratching your head.

Here, The Protocol School of Washington President Pamela Eyring tackles eight scenarios you might encounter, whether you’re hosting or attending.

You and your family moved into a new home last summer, and you're thrilled to be hosting a big festive party for the holidays. What information is crucial for you to relay to invitees, and when and how should you go about doing so?

People are always busy around the holidays and want to know, “why should I attend?” They form this opinion based on an invitation if they do not know you well. Start by creating the theme for your party (snowmen, Santa Clauses, snowflakes, etc.) and carry the theme to an invitation making them look festive and inviting. Written invitations will get faster attention than electronic invitations that arrive with all of the holiday spam emails. On the invitation, share who is hosting the party, date, time, address, attire (ugly holiday sweater, cocktail, festive casual) and instructions for your RSVP. Also, be sure to provide details on any planned activities such as a handmade ornament contest or to bring a side dish. Be sure to list a deadline for the RSVP so you can be prepared for the amount of food and drink to have on hand.

You agreed to host a family dinner for the holidays months ago, but money has gotten tight lately. Is there a way you can ask your guests to participate (by bringing food and/or drink) without appearing cheap?

Definitely! Use an on-line app, such as Sign Up Genius, to create a potluck sign-up form and send it to your family members. Another option is to call each family member letting them know you are creating a potluck dinner so everyone has the opportunity to bring their favorite holiday dish/recipe. Be sure to mention how fun it will be to try all of the delicious family recipes at your holiday dinner.

You're pulling out all the stops for the Big Dinner, cooking everything from scratch, mixing up craft cocktails, and setting the mood with seasonal decor. However, your attendees hold a range of political and religious beliefs, and you cannot, for the life of you, figure out how to seat everyone. Do you throw in the towel and allow people to select their own seat, or is there a way to assign seats that will keep the conversation amicable?

I recommend having a close look at your guest list - determine the people who you know are overly vocal about political or religious beliefs and spread them out around the table. From there, insert guests who are skilled at making small talk so the conversations flow smoothly.

Another way of deflecting unacceptable table talk is to ask a positive question to which each person shares their thoughts. An example would be: “What was your favorite holiday memory as a child (or gift you’ve received)?” or “What was your biggest accomplishment this year?” Have a list of conversation topics to keep the discussions positive. I would also recommend limiting the alcohol options and availability. If you have extremely opinionated people, alcohol will only heighten the risk of someone making a scene.

The dinner party began three hours ago, you've put the kids to bed, and started to clean the kitchen, however, there are one or two guests who just won't seem to leave. How do you break it to them gently that the party is over?

Thank them for coming, let them know you have enjoyed being together, but are exhausted now, and hand them their coats. Done!

You've been invited to a friend's house for a holiday party. You've been told to only bring yourself. Should you also bring a gift and if so, what's appropriate for the occasion?

Most people enjoy bringing something to a party, even if it is a gift. Some great low-cost options are an artfully wrapped beautiful ornament, homemade jam or jelly, a festive tray of homemade cookies or snacks, a decorative candle, flowers, or a bottle of delicious eggnog or wine (only if they drink alcohol).

You follow both gluten and dairy-free diets - a nightmare for a host at the holidays. Do you tell the host in advance (and risk stressing him/her out), say nothing and cross your fingers there will be something for you to eat, or pack your own food?

If it is a full dinner, I recommend telling the host in advance. Most likely, they will be happy to accommodate your needs. If it is a cocktail reception with hors d'oeuvres, I recommend you eat before you go and then look for items such as veggies or proteins that are clear for your consumption.

You're at a small gathering in a friend's home, and while you've already asked once (and been turned down), you can tell the host could use some help in the kitchen. How do you go about offering assistance without seeming judgmental/pushy, or do you just drop it and enjoy the party instead?

Since they are a friend who is visibly in need, jump in and help. You could dry dishes, set the table, or pour wine. Your friend will feel grateful for your kindness to help and you’ll be good company in the kitchen.

You and some co-workers participate in a gift swap, but you don't need the knife set you ended up with. Do you: 1) donate it, 2) re-gift it to someone in a different social circle, 3) shove it in the back of a closet or 4) ask the gifter to arrange a store credit for your use instead?

All are options except for #4. Of course, donating is a good choice. Re-gifting can be tricky, but it does occur. If you plan to re-gift, be sure there isn’t a card inside or leftover tape on the packaging and definitely make sure it is in a different social circle. You could also save it for when you do need the knives or ask any family members if they are in need of new knives and give them the chance to use them.