Gen Z Rewrote the Rules on Phone Etiquette … Again. Find Out the New Mistake You May Be Unknowingly Making
Here's what it is, why they're doing it and how to avoid committing a phone faux pas of your own
As someone who makes and takes phone calls as a big part of my job, I’ve recently noticed a trend in phone etiquette that’s messing with my entire sense of reality. It’s not that it bothers me exactly; it’s that I just don’t know what’s happening, and my brain goes strange places. Did I dial the wrong number? Is their phone broken? Did they get abducted mid-ring? Is this how horror movies start?
First Gen Z insisted we text before cold calling, and now they’re upending the world of phone etiquette again.
Read on to find out what the new phone etiquette rule is, according to Gen Zers, and how Boomers, Gen Xers and millennials like me can adapt.
What’s the new Gen Z phone etiquette rule?
What’s causing me to spiral so hard? Silence.
The latest Gen Z trend is not saying “hello” when you answer the phone. And I don’t mean skipping the hello in favor of a different greeting. I mean answering the phone and breathing Darth-Vader style into the speaker and waiting for the caller to say something first. I remember one of the first times this happened to me, I was so surprised that I just sat there in stunned silence, trying to figure out if perhaps the other person was in the bathroom and didn’t want to say anything lest their voice echo and betray their location. I mean, why else wouldn’t you say “hello” when you answer a phone call? After all, that’s been the established phone protocol since phones were invented.
“What you’re observing is less a lack of etiquette and more a shift in how Gen Z navigates power, privacy and presence in real time,” says Patrice Williams-Lindo, a workplace trends analyst who specializes in Gen Z and the CEO of Career Nomad. “The pause is a form of boundary setting, not rudeness.”
As the first generation to grow up entirely online, Gen Z is rewriting the rules of digital etiquette—from “killing” voicemail to ghosting “hello.” And while older generations might find it confusing (or mildly terrifying), these changes are rooted in a mix of protection, efficiency and cultural evolution. If you think this trend is weird, congratulations, you’re probably over 30. But get ready: This just might be your faux pas now too. Even something as simple as saying “hello” might be due for a modern etiquette update.
“What we are witnessing is an evolution of social norms, and the ones that bristle against it are the ones that are having the hardest time adjusting,” Williams-Lindo says.
Why doesn’t Gen Z want to say “hello”?
It’s not that Gen Z hates you or doesn’t want to talk to you. It’s about digital survival.
“Many Gen Zers associate unknown or unprompted calls with conflict, correction or spam,” Williams-Lindo explains. “Not speaking first offers a beat of control—to assess tone, intent and energy. It’s not insecurity—it’s information gathering.” In other words, that pause? It’s their digital equivalent of peeking through the blinds before opening the door. And make no mistake, it is often about safety. This generation has grown up in a world overflowing with robocalls, scams and emotionally charged conversations that come out of nowhere. So a little pre-conversation buffering feels safer.
Robocall evasion
“Today more than ever, our personal cell number is being distributed through data breaches, mobile apps, online purchases—even data brokers,” says Pamela Eyring, a digital etiquette expert and president of The Protocol School of Washington. “The biggest reason people don’t say anything first is to avoid being flagged on robocall ping lists.”
Many spam bots are trained to recognize the word “hello” as their cue to spring into action—launching into a scammy monologue about your car’s extended warranty or an “urgent” issue with your Amazon account. Worse, by saying “hello,” you’re confirming that your number is active, which can land you on even more robocall lists. Staying silent for a beat after answering can sometimes trick the bot into thinking it’s a dead line and moving on.
Social anxiety
Never underestimate the role of good old-fashioned social anxiety. For many Gen Zers, the phone isn’t just a communication device—it’s a source of mild existential dread. “A lot of them grew up texting, where you have time to think and edit your response,” says Yaron Litwin, an expert on parenting in the digital age and CMO of the Canopy Parental Control App. “Real-time conversation, especially voice-only, can feel intense and unpredictable.”
Phone calls can feel like an intrusion or an ambush, and you wouldn’t say hello when being ambushed, would you? So it makes sense that they may want to wait a second to see what the other person is bringing to the scene. It’s not rudeness, it’s self-preservation with a dash of performance anxiety.
Efficiency
Gen Z grew up with texts, memes, emojis and disappearing voice notes. They are fluent in fast, purpose-driven communication. Why waste time with a drawn-out “hellooooo?” especially when the caller should already know who they’re talking to?
Those older phone etiquette rules we, as people who grew up with landlines, learned can be unnecessarily time consuming, especially now, when information changes by the minute. Litwin points out that the whole “say hello and state your name” thing that used to be drilled into us by parents standing next to the wall-mounted kitchen phone isn’t a thing anymore.
Evolving culture
“A cheery or corporate ‘hello’ can come across as disingenuous or emotionally performative,” Williams-Lindo says. “Many Gen Zers value emotional clarity over politeness. They want authenticity, not artifice.”
In other words, your friendly greeting might sound more like a cold call than a warm welcome. Gen Z has grown up in a world where most conversations are asynchronous—voice notes, DMs, emojis or FaceTime filters. A phone call with a traditional opening is like showing up to a Zoom meeting in a powdered wig.
All that said, Eyring cautions against making generational generalizations. “I won’t generalize that all Gen Z is bothered by a hello. I believe most of them want to feel included, be heard and be respected like all generations,” she says.
What should you do instead?
If saying “hello” is now passé, what are you supposed to do? The short answer: whatever works for you, because phone etiquette is currently in its “figure it out” era. The good news is, you’ve got options. The bad news? There’s no universally accepted “right” one anymore.
You can go full Gen Z and stay silent until the caller introduces themselves. Or, if you’d like to say something but avoid being flagged as a live number by a robocall robot, try a minimalist greeting like “Hey,” “Yo” or “Wassup?” All of these are totally acceptable in Gen Z circles, according to my four Gen Z kids and their friends. (“We know you’re old, it’s fine if you say ‘hello,'” one son told me. “It would be weird if my friends did it, but I’m used to you being weird.” Cool cool, you’re welcome for the gift of life, kiddo.)
Still, if you’re not ready to enter the Phone Call Hunger Games, don’t worry. You don’t have to abandon your instincts entirely. “We have a better chance of building better relationships by saying ‘Hello’ and stating our first and last name, especially when we are expecting calls,” Eyring says. “It gives the caller a sense of relief they have the correct person, and they feel you are professional and confident.”
Basically, I’ve Frankensteined together a system that works for me:
If the number’s not in my contacts, it goes to Google screening, which asks the caller to identify themselves or punts them to voicemail.
If I do answer, I pause for a second—just to make sure it’s not a robocall cueing up its script.
Then I say, “Hey, this is Charlotte.”
When I make a call, I send a heads-up text first to make sure they’re available and to preempt the whole “Wait, who is this?” awkwardness. It’s the 2020s version of a calling card.
And if the person answers with silence? I just dive in: “Hi! This is Charlotte Hilton Andersen with Reader’s Digest—how are you?”
It’s a little chaotic. It takes more thought than just blurting out “hello.” But it works for me.
So, what should you do? Honestly, it depends. On who you’re calling, the context, your comfort level and whether you want to sound like a business professional or a TikTok trend. There’s no single right way, but in today’s digital world, taking a beat, thinking it through and being intentional may be the best etiquette advice for pretty much any situation.
Is saying “hello” actually rude?
Here’s where things get sticky. Just because one generation sees the standard phone greeting as rude doesn’t mean all the other generations that have different norms are wrong to feel slighted by its omission. And technically, ignoring someone on a call IS kind of rude—at least, by most people’s standards today.
“It is rude in a professional setting to not answer by saying at least ‘hello,'” says Eyring, adding that Gen Z may learn this lesson the hard way in the form of being rejected for a job or skipped over for a promotion due to poor communication skills. “This is not a new business etiquette norm, it is avoidance and maybe pushback on the norm or simply ignorance of the practice.”
Litwin agrees, but adds that the tide is shifting. “It is rude, but it may be on its way to becoming the norm anyway—only time will tell,” he says.
But Williams-Lindo counters that this isn’t rudeness; it’s evolution. “Gen Z isn’t broken, they’re building unapologetically,” she says. “We’re witnessing a new etiquette norm.”
So if your niece, an intern or that new guy in marketing answers your call with a pause instead of a greeting, don’t take it personally. Just know you’ve entered a new communication dimension where your opening line isn’t “hello”—it’s “adapt.”
How else could you respond?
“Hello” isn’t your only option, and for Gen Z, it might not even make the top 10 list. “You can say ‘Hey,’ or even ‘You good?'” suggests Williams-Lindo. “If all else fails, say nothing, and a head nod would do it if nothing [else].” (Note: This does not work well over audio.)
Litwin recommends a compromise for callers: “Combine the standard ‘hello’ with a brief introduction to yourself so they know who is calling.”
For professional callers, Eyring recommends going old-school: “Hello, this is [First and Last Name].” For friends? Keep it casual. “Hey what’s up?” is the new “Hi there!”
The key is matching the tone to the context. Business meeting? Formal. Best friend? Chill. Unknown number? Don’t answer and let the filtering software do its thing.
What about Caller ID?
Here’s the thing: Older generations were taught to say “hello” partly because they didn’t know who was calling and that gave the caller an opportunity to identify themselves, but Caller ID has changed the game. We know who’s calling before we even pick up, which opens the door to personalized greetings—but also to wild misunderstandings.
Case in point: I once answered a call from my daughter’s phone thinking it was my daughter. I chirped out an animated “Hey, honey bunny!” only to discover I was speaking to the middle school vice principal. Who did not, in fact, want to be my honey bunny.
So yes, saying “Hi, Person’s Name!” is fair game … as long as you’re confident it’s that person on the other end and not, say, their boss.
“If the Caller ID states spam, wait for the caller to respond, or simply don’t take the call,” Eyring says. “And if the spam caller fools you into answering, simply say ‘No thank you and remove me from your caller list’ and say goodbye.”
Your cheat sheet for how to not get canceled for answering your phone
Our experts offer these tips for the new phone etiquette:
Do say “hello” if you’re in a professional setting.
Don’t assume “hello” is universal anymore.
Do match your greeting to the caller and context.
Don’t take it personally if someone answers with silence—they might just be Gen Z-ing.
Do enjoy the chaos of modern communication.
Don’t call the vice principal “honey bunny.” Trust me.
About the experts
Pamela Eyring is the president and owner of The Protocol School of Washington, with more than three decades of experience in international protocol, business etiquette and communication training.
Yaron Litwin is the CMO of the Canopy parental control app and a digital etiquette expert. His work focuses on the intersection of technology and culture, including how Gen Z is reshaping communication norms.
Patrice Williams-Lindo is a workplace trend forecaster, the CEO of Career Nomad and an expert in digital etiquette. She helps businesses and individuals navigate the future of work, communication and identity with empathy and cultural awareness.
The original article can be found here at Reader’s Digest
