6 tips for being the guest who will be invited again
This holiday season, be the house guest who’s invited back for another stay. The Protocol School of Washington President Pamela Eyring shares her best tips.
Be prompt in arrival
Arrive at the time that your host requests. Avoid arriving early in case the host is still preparing for your arrival. Avoid arriving late in case the host has plans which require timeliness, such as lunch or visitors to meet. If transportation is going to delay you, always let the host know, including when you think you’ll arrive.
Prepare for anything
Prior planning is key. If you are picky about your pillows, bring one from home. You may ask if they have an extra pillow or blanket letting them know if they do not, you’ll be fine. If you tend to run warm or prefer a cooler room, consider bringing lighter sleepwear or a small portable fan. There is always the option of sleeping in your “birthday suit” if necessary or only using the top sheet for coverage.
If the room next to you belongs to a child in the family who has the volume on their music cranked up, you can knock on the door and very gently remind them that you are next door. However, bringing ear plugs anytime you travel is a great idea.
Show your gratitude
It is always appropriate to bring a gift to your host. If you know your host’s likes and dislikes, it will be easy; e.g., if you know they like wine or certain brands of alcohol, this will be appropriate. Flowers and candy can be a lovely gift. If you know their tastes in reading material, bringing a book is a great option. If you’re staying more than a night or two, consider bringing (if driving) additional food items, like steaks or seasonal foods, wine or alcohol to restock their bar, and snacks. If you are flying in, then treat them to dinner or lunch during the stay or buy tickets to their favorite sports team.
Lend a hand
Offer to participate in cooking, cleaning, or set up with meals. Even if the host says “I have it under control” they might appreciate your assistance with clearing the table, scraping plates, taking the trash or recyclables out, or drying the dishes. Making the effort to be helpful will go a long way to passing the test of a stellar house guest!
Be flexible - or stay elsewhere
If you have certain, non-negotiable habits, like smoking, stay in a hotel. If your host doesn’t mind you smoking, ask them where it is permissible and if there is an ashtray available. If you're a cigarette smoker, never step on the cigarette butt and throw it in their flower bed or bushes. If watching TV to sleep is a must, you can always use your cell phone, or bring a portable fan and earplugs. A portable sound machine could be extremely useful.
Sleeping in late might be perceived as inconsiderate. Instead, wake up and assist with breakfast preparation. At the very least, offer to keep the host company. Be considerate of any household “rules” such as not giving the pets table food or use of certain rooms. And bring a guest only if your host has indicated that you may do so. If you are not married to the guest you want to bring, you may want to inquire of your host if they have an issue with sleeping arrangements. Today, this is not often an issue, but it does not hurt to ask depending on your age, your guest’s age, the host’s age (especially parents), and their perception. They make the rules!
Clean up after yourself
You should ask your host how you may assist with putting the guest room in order on your departure. Ask if your host would like for you to strip the bed, wash the towels, clean the bath, etc. A helpful guest is appreciated; however, the host may have household assistance who takes care of this or they may have a very specific routine they follow. At a minimum, empty any trash cans in your room or bathroom and wipe down the counters and sink. If the host doesn’t want you to strip the bed, at least make it by putting back the decorative pillows and such. You can also place the used towels together on the floor or hang them if hooks are available. Remember: this is a home, not a hotel with maid service. Make the bed in the morning, wipe off bathroom counters and sinks, don’t eat snacks in bed, and be mindful where you place your luggage so as not to scratch walls or damage furniture. Be the guest who will be invited again!
