Graceful Recovery: How to Avoid (and Recover) from the World's 10 Biggest Faux Pas
If you are of a certain age, you may recall a famous episode of the hit sitcom “Designing Women” when one of the lead characters—the outspoken but forever proper Julia Sugarbaker—participates as a model in a charity fashion show. She is humiliated when her dress gets caught in her pantyhose, an event that forever brands her as the woman who “mooned Atlanta.”
Although none of us at The Protocol School of Washington have ever had to overcome this level of wardrobe malfunction, there are many more common faux pas that we have had to handle. From falling down in public to assuming someone is pregnant, here we offer some suggestions on how to avoid—and hopefully recover—from some common mistakes that we have all made from time to time.
Responding to all in a Group E-mail: Ah, the dreaded group e-mail, where a boss or colleague (or maybe even a family member) includes everyone under the sun in the recipient list. How many times have you thought you were responding to just the initial sender, and inadvertently hit “reply all,” sending private information or personal feelings that were less than inappropriate for a group setting? Yes, this falls under the category of TMI, or “too much information,” but unfortunately, technology has not evolved fast enough to halt those instant electronic replies. To avoid this mistake, simply take some time before you snap off an instant reply, and double check all the recipients on your list. To fully recover from the mistake, you may wish to send a follow-up email apologizing or make it more personal with a phone call or a short notecard.
Forgetting Someone's Name: Forgetting Someone’s Name: You’re at a party and you know the face, you may even recall their occupation or spouse’s name, but for the life of you, you cannot remember the person you are talking to. An old trick we sometimes fall back on is to bring a third party into the conversation and ask if the two people have met. Typically, both parties will offer their names and help you save face on the name game. Another tip is to ask for their business card or have them enter their contact information into your phone. If all else fails, blame it on a “senior moment” and ask for their name again.
Assuming Someone is Pregnant: This is a big one, literally. To avoid making this mistake, never assume someone is pregnant, has been pregnant or will be pregnant. Many women still appear pregnant post-delivery and many women simply gain weight that resembles pregnancy. If you happen to ask a non-pregnant woman when the baby is due, again, honesty is the best policy and profusely apologize for your error. Or say that your friend looks so beautiful, that she appeared to have the glow often associated with pregnancy. Then find the nearest exit and hope for the best.
Falling Down in Public: Even the classiest and most beautiful women in the world stumble and fall. Nancy Reagan did it at a funeral. Jennifer Lawrence stumbled upstairs when she received her Academy Award. But, what is the best way to recover from a pratfall worthy of a screwball comedy? Get right back up and laugh it off. Humor and humility go hand in hand, and it takes a real woman (or a man) to laugh it off, especially at a public event. To avoid falls, make sure your new shoes are slightly scuffed and always avoid getting your dress or pant leg caught in your favorite high heels.
Talking Politics on Social Media: Three words: don’t do it. No matter the temptation, no matter what your crazy conservative cousin or ultra-liberal uncle may have said about your favorite political candidate, do not engage. It never ends well. However, if you do make the mistake of responding to someone’s rant on social media, always preface or end the post noting that you do respect their opinions even if they may differ.
Spilling Food or Drink: From scalding hot coffee to managing that buttery piece of corn on the cob, we’ve all had our share of food or beverage slip ups that can cause a little embarrassment. Even the most graceful of us have spilled a glass of red wine or dropped a petit four on our host’s white sofa. But again, the main thing to remember is your humility. Learn to laugh at yourself to lessen the awkward moment and immediately notify your host of your mistake. Offer to help clean it up as soon as possible. Also offer to pay for cleaning bills that may arise and include a line of apology in the obligatory thank you note to your host.
Leaving Someone Off a Guest List: You’ve planned the perfect event, wedding or party and you’ve worked six months on creating the perfect guest list. But, inadvertently there will be someone who feels slighted to be left off the guest list. If the person confronts you about it, and there’s room for one more, you can always send a second string invite to soothe hurt feelings. Send a follow-up invite for a special dinner or lunch to ensure your friend or colleague gets some special attention.
Fashion Disaster: Looking at the Julia Sugarbaker scenario again, we hope that no one ever suffers such a public indignity as an exposed backside on a fashion runway. But there are times when a zipper breaks, a rip occurs, or you do spill that Cabernet on your brand new white gown. Your best bet is to grab a friend and head to the restroom to see if there’s any damage control available to you. Restroom attendants can often aid you in these situations and it’s also a good idea to keep a small hotel sized sewing kit in your purse (for the ladies). If all else fails, borrow someone’s wrap or even your partner’s jacket to help hide your fashionable flaw.
Forgetting Someone’s Birthday: It happened to Molly Ringwald’s parents in “Sixteen Candles” and it can happen to you—forgetting someone’s birthday. Luckily, social media keeps most of us informed of the birth dates of our special friends and loved ones, but smart phone calendar reminders can also keep you well aware of all the special days you should never miss. However, if you do happen to forget someone’s birthday, it’s wise to go a little overboard in making up for the slight. Sending flowers or a special delivery might just do the trick, and never forget to say those three special words: “Please. Forgive. Me.”
Picture Imperfect: You are a finalist for your dream job at the world’s most excellent company when the HR department decides to troll your old social media posts and finds you doing that Jaeger bomb at a Hootie and the Blowfish concert back in 1993. Maybe not the image your intended company wants out in a public forum. Your best line of defense? Curate your online profile and delete any pics or posts that may prove detrimental to your current brand. Also, be sure and ask any friends or relatives to also delete such posts. And if you must post potentially embarrassing pics that reveal too much skin or may appear provocative, check your privacy settings on all social media outlets. Your future self will thank you.